The ideas on this blog and the breathing track are the only things that have given me true relief.   I think because it is something internal, instead of always looking outside myself for the answers.

When I practice the breathing track, I feel a warm, loving sensation.  Like I am giving the ‘little scared me’ a hug, it’s hard to describe (and cheesy sounding!) But its true.

The other is affirmations, which are hard to remember, so I programmed my cell phone with reminders, like alarms, that go off 4 times a day with positive affirmations I will read. I will say this feels new, and uncomfortable; but not nearly as uncomfortable as my trauma/PTSD thoughts.

Just trying to be present and focus on the breathing track creates a sort of ‘space’ between me and those thoughts. I can actually notice these thoughts before mindlessly engaging them through fear.

C PTSD - A Way Out

The ideas on this blog and the breathing track are the only things that have given me true relief.   I think because it is something internal, instead of always looking outside myself for the answers.

When I practice the breathing track, I feel a warm, loving sensation.  Like I am giving the ‘little scared me’ a hug, it’s hard to describe (and cheesy sounding!) But its true.

The other is affirmations, which are hard to remember, so I programmed my cell phone with reminders, like alarms, that go off 4 times a day with positive affirmations I will read. I will say this feels new, and uncomfortable; but not nearly as uncomfortable as my trauma/PTSD thoughts.

Just trying to be present and focus on the breathing track creates a sort of ‘space’ between me and those thoughts. I can actually notice these thoughts before mindlessly engaging them through…

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  1. I lived through abandonment trauma as a child, repeatedly. As a young adult, I then lived a life full of extremes, without moderation, never laying roots anywhere. I turned 30, laid roots finally, got some stability and my mind (without a particular event prompting) went crazy. Why now? What happened? Am I going crazy?
    I was diagnosed with PTSD from my childhood this year, but why am I so terrified now? Things happened years ago… I’ve delt with that stuff, havent I?
    Well, yes…I had. To an extent. I have accepted what happened to me when I was young, but those events caused damage beyond my understanding. Like parts of me emotionally had not developed. There were also ‘life tools’ I never learnt. One of them being ok with stability. I had never had it. I had no idea life could go on, and nothing actually be wrong, or about to crash in on me. So I for the last few years (since things had gotten ok, and I slowed down) have been imagining, reliving, and expecting something terrible to happen or someone do something terrible to me.
    It got to the point of insanity, the thoughts, panic attacks, fears, not sleeping, not eating, crying, shaking, I felt like I had lost myself, my boyfriend is not who I thought and was convinced he was out to get me.
    How could all of this be in my mind? My thoughts? It all ‘FELT’ so real, there had to be some truth. I searched, and scoured, and found nothing. I then was convinced something pysically was wrong with me, after many doctor vists, tests, scans, nothing…
    Back to square one… but the actual physical pain? And the fears? I couldnt fathom this was just in my mind…
    But it was. One of my favorite posts on Marty’s blog talks about feeling like your losing yourself, but in fact your are letting go of the old, negative behaviors, that was never you to have back.
    So this may all feel new, and scary, but NOTHING is as scary as the trauma in my head.
    And the relief (even though they are tiny glimpses in the beginning) that the breathing track can bring me is second to none. I have had many therapists, medications, books, groups and support is a wonderful thing but I kept searching for the magic answer, book, session, close friend…. and never found it. I developed tools to deal with the overwelmingness of the symptoms, but never got to the root cause, until now.
    I really truly believe all this trauma we all suffer with can be lessened, if not minimized if we can learn to be still, present and comfort ourselves.
    Our minds and bodies are almost screaming out to us, and for me being present, observing and not engaging or reacting is where I have found the most comfort.

    Like

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