What an interesting year. I turned 30 and realized I am not where I thought I would be, and FREAKED.

For a better part of this year, I really didn’t know what was wrong with me, all I knew is I felt an unfathomable
amount of fear, doom, and anxiety. And it scared me, maybe I am going crazy?

Then I discovered just how negative my thoughts have become and how frequent.

I have found I love the works of Dr Wayne Dyer, Tony Robbins, Abraham-Hicks, Eckhart Tolle just to name a few, and the secret.

But what I never did was put any of this into practice. I would read & hear about negative thinking and its effects, agree with what they said about creating a reality through our minds and expectations but almost didn’t believe my mind was that powerful. I mean, I am going through some deep sh*t right now! Aren’t I?

Well, what I am beginning to grasp, is what if it’s possible; just possible. What if it’s possible my mind & thoughts can contribute to my negative reality. That’s worth taking a look into, or perhaps even some effort to change, because where I am right now is not working.

I began to ask myself questions, internal questions. Like, what is it I want to do with my life? Where do I want to be? How much do I want to make? And most importantly, what is my life’s true purpose?

I have recently been using affirmations and incantations I have read about, like “The infinite intelligence of my subconscious mind will reveal my true purpose in life”. Or “I am one with God and God is everything”.

I have found if I take just a moments focus off whatever fear I am feeling and if I repeat these; my state of being does improve.

What’s interesting that I am learning now is just how many negative thoughts and fears I have. I expect the worst, think the worst and wonder why I feel this way.

And now that I am catching them more often, it seems there are way more of them! Just being conscious to them is incredible…like they know I am telling them to get out, for good!

I also found out recently what I feel to be my life’s calling. Helping others use the power of their subconscious mind and get over anxiety for good.

Both negative emotions/thoughts (or as my brother calls them ‘negemos’ I love that!) and anxiety have played a role in a lot of destruction in my life. And I am finally able to gain some clarity and shut this stuff down. I was talking to a friend’s Saturday night, offering advice if you will; and it just hit me. I went on about what I have learned, and how it’s helped me for almost 3 hours! It was surreal, like it wasn’t even me speaking. I was excited! And enthusiastic! She was nearly in tears and thanked me for sharing with her.

I then realized right then and there, this is what I want to do.

Now, how do I go about it… I figured I will post here.

For me to stay connected and hopefully for anyone else who may benefit 🙂